Words & Thoughts From the Desk of Your Favorite Authoress

Does it take 5 years to write a book? It does when you’re trying to get over your own “crap”!

on December 24, 2015

When “life is happening”… it “happens” in a flood!

What started out as potentially my first ever children’s book entitled, “My Choice” ended up being an interactive eBook entitled, “Joseph’s Journey: When Dad Left and Never Came Back”.  That entire process took 5 years to unfold.

“My Choice’s” manuscript was actually completed in 2010 and was registered with the U.S. Copyright office the same year.

In 2010, I was a single mother and also a nearly full time caretaker of my father who was diagnosed with ALS in 2009.  I had no money to self-publish a book so I decided that an online fundraiser through Kickstarter might help me towards my goal of publishing a full-color, hardcover children’s picture book.  Well, I did not reach my fundraising goal and my dream of publishing my first children’s picture book seemed, frankly, just done.

It took me a LONG TIME to get over that feeling of, not having the money to create something that, I felt, would truly be a positive message that could help numerous others.  Plus, with my dad being in the position he was in really had me down in the dumps.

Feeling like you “can’t do something” that you really want to do is a lousy feeling and one that can take you down a long road of self-doubt mixed in a virtual “variety bag” of other negative feelings that will leave you feeling low.

So that was me for some time…just trying to get over my “crap”!

There were some healing modalities that my sister, Angela, helped introduce me to.  One in which I participated in, rebirthing or breath work, which, actually, helped me feel better!  I read some books, “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise L. Hay and “Everyday Grace” by Marianne Williamson among others.

During this time of self-growth, I set my intention for the Universe to send me an illustrator that would illustrate my book and accept deferred payment until the book made some sales.  A few months later, through a friend of a friend, I met the sweetest woman one could ever meet…her name was Dolores Melgar.   She told me that she believed in the message of the book and she would help me.  She also was willing to accept deferred payment!

In 2012,  we started working together and things were going well until she called me one day and said that she had to stop working on the project.  She further explained that she would stop by my home and just give me the illustrations she had already completed.  When she came by she looked as if she were “worn down” emotionally and really sad.  She told me, “sorry”, gifted me the illustrations and left no forwarding address or contact information.  We were friends on Facebook but she soon deleted her page and with no way of further contacting her.  This woman was such a gem and to see her like that instead of her usual smile with light shining in her eyes was troubling.

After THAT, I was like, “Okay…now what am I going to do?”  I looked for other illustrators but of course, to obtain their services would cost money that was way out of the price range in an amount that I had, or, felt I could afford.

My dream felt lost again.  Additionally, caretaking of my father became more time-consuming and intense.  If there is anyone reading this that has been a full time caretaker of a loved one, then you will understand that it can be emotionally and physically exhausting.  It’s not easy to see someone that you love dearly exist in a state of chronic illness.

I did not feel creative at all, just tired.  Tired and wanting to be somewhere else but felt like I could not be, not knowing how to “be”…wanting and needing PROFESSIONAL, RELIABLE AND HONEST nursing care for my father but not receiving it.  He had one nurse almost suffocate him accidentally, one that purposely overdosed him with morphine which almost killed him, another nurse who was abusing him…this all happened in my home, where my son and I and the rest of our family laid our heads at night.  (Remember that physical and emotional drain I was referring to?)

In Late 2014, I read some UPLIFTING news on the internet:

“Amazon Announces KDP Kids and Launches Kindle Kids’ Book Creator”

“Authors can easily publish children’s books and reach millions of Kindle readers around the world

Kindle Kids’ Book Creator for illustrated children’s books available for download today.” –businesswire.com

 

This had been the positive answer to my challenge!  I could independently publish my book for FREE!  My dream of sending a positive message out and hopefully touching lives was about to come true.

I started formatting my book using the Amazon Kindle Book Kids Creator Software.  Things were slow-going at first because of “life happening”.  I don’t want to bad mouth anybody but, #$%^, I must warn people with loved ones who are considering obtaining home health services…it’s not what you think.  This has been my experience of my father being on the receiving end of several agencies’ home health services.

My father transitioned from this life on August 14, 2015.  A few days later, my Uncle Mike transitioned and on November 19th, my Uncle Van transitioned as well.  After all of of this transitioning  I figured it was truly time for me to buckle down and make my own “transition” from being in a slump to pursuing my dream and going for it!

“Joseph’s Journey” was published, today, in the Amazon store on December 24, 2015.  My goal has ALWAYS been to touch lives in a positive way by sowing good seeds with my words, thoughts, and actions.  Today and through December 28th, I am gifting “Joseph’s Journey” to all who wish to receive it.

The link to download your free copy is here:  amzn.to/1J1iiKL

Happy Holidays!

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